Shall We Dance?
by losamantesclandestinos
Summary: Somewhat of a sequel to 'Merry Christmas, Mr. Barba.' Rafael takes Olivia dancing. Interesting things ensue. Eventual Barson.
1. Chapter 1

**SHALL WE DANCE?**

**Disclaimer:** Characters aren't mine – they belong to Dick Wolf and NBC.

**Author's Note**: This is just a silly story that popped into my head after listening to Raúl sing _Begin the Beguine_. References events from _Merry Christmas, Mr. Barba _so read that one first. Not sure how long this will be, possibly just a couple chapters.

**Chapter One**

_When they begin the beguine _

_It brings back the sound of music so tender _

_It brings back a night of tropical splendor _

_It brings back a memory ever green._

_-**Begin the Beguine, **_**Cole Porter**

It's 3:00pm and Olivia's finishing up some paperwork at the precinct. It's a gloomy winter day, bitterly cold and very little sunlight. One of those days where she just doesn't feel like doing anything. It's the holidays and, oddly enough, it's been quiet. That's a little unusual because usually this time of year brings out all the crazies.

She's on edge just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Because it always does.

All of a sudden, she feels her cell vibrate. _There we go_.

Liv looks down and Barba's name is flashing on her phone. _That's unusual, _she thinks, _we're not working a case together. I wonder what he wants_.

Something bad is going to happen. She just knows it.

"Benson here."

"Liv, it's Rafael."

"What's on your mind, counselor?" She leans back in her chair, bracing herself for bad news because that seems to be largely what's delivered over her phone. "Is there a problem?"

"No, not at all. Do you have plans tonight?" He asks, a little abruptly.

_Okay, didn't see that one coming_.

"Only spending time with Noah." Olivia smiles as she looks at the picture of her foster son on her desk. He was really such a wonderful little boy. And she loved him. So very much. He was the piece of her that had been missing and she hadn't even realized it until she'd held him in her arms. _Oh, baby boy, you will never lack love. Never._

"What are you doing for dinner?"

"I was planning on takeout." Although the thought of Chinese for yet another night makes her stomach roll. Maybe she'd get pizza...

"Forget that – I'll take you out. I know a place." She stares at the phone. Is he asking her out on a _date_? Benson's not sure how she feels about that. The evening they had spent together at Christmas had been wonderful. But he hadn't really said much to her since then and maybe that spark between them had all been completely in _her _head. She'd been the one to initiate the kiss after all.

_Still waiting for that other shoe to drop…._

Plus, he really isn't asking as much as he is telling. That grates on her nerves.

So she hesitates and he senses it.

"Is it Noah you're concerned about or us?" That's the unsettling thing about Barba. He's quite direct and sometimes she's not sure how to react to it.

"_What_ us?" She asks, a little bewildered. _What the hell? Is this the other shoe? _Forget the fact that she'd been wondering about this "thing" earlier.

"That's what I want to know." Liv can hear a faint smile in his voice. Slightly exasperated, she realizes that Barba, in a very awkward way, _is _asking her out. But whether it's actually a _date _date or not, of that she's unsure.

She's not even sure that he knows what it 's unsure, he's unsure…they're both unsure.

_Boy, this is going to be fun_. _Fucking Barba. He's so cryptic sometimes._

But she's willing to give it a chance.

"Let me see if Lucy's available to watch Noah tonight." Olivia smiles at her phone.

"You know where to reach me. Give me a call when you find out." Before she can say anything, he's hung up. For a moment, she just stares at her phone.

_Well, that was the oddest "conversation" in the history of forever. And, God, Barba can be __**so**__ bossy._

Shaking her head, she rolls her eyes as she dials Lucy. And decides that maybe she needs to have a discussion with Rafael about his bedside manner, so to speak.

_Poor choice of phrase, Olivia..._

_**7:00**_

Benson purses her lips and looks in the mirror. Sometimes being a woman was the fucking worst thing in the world and dates, well, she'd rather walk on hot coals. With sharp knives under her fingernails. Because that'd be less painful. _God, _she thought, _give me a perp in an interrogation room. That'd be more fun than this_. At least there the roles were clearly defined, she knew exactly what to do. There was no uncertainty there. None of this nebulous "_is this a romantic date_" or "_is this a just going out to dinner/no romance date_?"

And she remembers exactly why she avoids the dating scene.

But it's too late to back out now.

She's pulled out an old dress from the closet; one of her favorite ones. It's got spaghetti straps, cut low in the front, and scarlet red. It clings to her curves like a second skin. A smile crosses her face as she remembers Amaro's look of appreciation when he saw her in it. _"Oooohhhlivia_." He had said and she had blushed. But she had walked a little taller for the rest of the evening.

What woman doesn't appreciate being appreciated? And Benson would definitely never forget the look in Nick's eyes when he saw her in it….

So she'd never gotten rid of it. It's an older dress and slightly out of style but she loves it. When she wears it, she's all Olivia and Sergeant Benson's tucked away. Sometimes she needs that. Needs to put away the pain, the trauma, the weariness of the job and just be…Olivia.

(She can't help but imagine the look on Barba's face when he sees her in it. )

Out of the closet, she grabs a pair of pumps. Spritzes on some perfume that an over-eager salesclerk had said was better than sex…whatever that meant. The woman had been trying so hard to make a sale so Benson had forked over a ridiculous amount of money for the 1.7 oz bottle. It _did _smell good. But better than sex? That was a bit of an oversell.

She managed to refrain from telling that to the clerk, though.

_This is just an evening out with a friend_, Benson reminds herself.

God, she didn't even want to think about sex with Barba.

Although she'd be lying if she hadn't wondered (just in passing, of course) if he'd be as domineering in the bedroom as he was in the courtroom. Momentarily, she's intrigued. And is curious if she's been the only one who's wondered how all that caffeinated energy translated to the bedroom.

Sexual napalm, anyone?

God, it's been way too long since she's had sex if she's going down that road. She ignored the flash of heat that went through her body.

_Pull it together, Olivia_.

_Dinner and dancing_, he had mentioned on the phone when she had called him back.

_Dancing? Barba DANCES? _

He's turning out to be full of surprises. First, the singing to Noah, then the dancing.

Next thing he'll be telling her that he moonlights as a Broadway star during his off-hours.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: You know the drill. Characters aren't mine. Story is.

Author's Note: The lullaby Olivia sings is Hungarian. The translation is:

_Sleep, baby, sleep,_

_Close your eyes._

_Sleep, tilting-lilting*_

_Little rose bud._

_The violet is sleeping,_

_Sleep, baby._

Chapter 2

Benson's pacing around her apartment. Barba called her a few minutes ago to let her know that traffic was a little heavy and that he'd be running late. Her throat is dry and she's had at least three glasses of water. And some wine. She's not sure why she's so nervous - this is Barba after all, they get along well and they always find things to talk about.

Are they going to discuss what happened at Christmas? She's never been good at those types of "discussions" and, oh god, please don't ask because that would be so awkward. Sweat's starting to bead at her hairline and she quickly wipes her forehead.

_Okay, Olivia, this is just dinner and a little dancing. Not another session at CompStat._

"Olivia?" A soft voice calls from the bedroom.

Benson fixes a smile on her face. "Yes, Lucy?"

"He's just going down for the night." Lucy's a sweet girl and Noah adores her. Given the horror stories of "nannies gone bad", Liv is profoundly thankful to have found her. Given the stories she'd heard and things she'd seen herself, for some time she had despaired about finding a good nanny, much less a perfect one.

But then she'd found Lucy through the recommendation of an old friend. With glowing references and a completely clean background, Lucy had been ideal on paper. And when Liv had met Lucy in person, the two of them had clicked immediately. Most importantly, Noah and Lucy had bonded easily. Now he clearly adores her.

The universe had been smiling down on Olivia Benson that day.

She goes back into her bedroom and Lucy's holding Noah. Disregarding her hair, her makeup (because, really, what do those matter?), Olivia opens her arms and Noah gleefully goes into them, possibly thinking this is a reprieve from Evil Bedtime. Olivia eyes her bundle of mischief and he eyes her back with those big beautiful eyes.

Kids know early how to wind their parents around their chubby little fingers.

She can almost read his thoughts through his big eyes: _Don't put me to bed, let me stay up and watch Elmo. _

Liv can't help but grin, she's not going to be a sucker for those innocent eyes. Although, it's a little too late - she already is.

"You're going to bed, my son. No Elmo tonight." She says to him firmly. And kisses him on the head. "I love you so much, Noah. I just hope some day you know how much."

Carefully, she lays him down his crib. He starts to fuss a little but Rafael's given her an idea and she starts to sing a little. Not too loudly because she wants him to relax and, frankly, any louder and her neighbors might complain. Another American Diva in training, she is not.

_Tente, baba, tente,_

_a szemedet hunyd be._

_Aludj, ingó-bingó,_

_kicsi rózsabimbó._

_Alszik az ibolya,_

_csicsíja babája._

Her voice isn't beautiful - to her it sounds like a box of rocks - but Noah likes it. His eyes start to close and his fussing turns into a tired little whimper. "Goodnight, baby boy." She says it softly so it only touches him like a soft evening breeze.

"Thank you for staying with him this evening, Lucy. I really appreciate it."

"It's no problem at all, Olivia." Lucy smiles and Benson sees she means it. "I love baby Noah. He's such a joy. Even when he's crabby."

"Well, you know how to reach me." Liv says, "I'll have my phone on all the time. If anything comes up - _anything - _please don't hesitate to call me right away."

Lucy smiles. _"_Of course."

Olivia leaves the room, going to the kitchen to get yet another drink of water. _Barba, where the hell are you?_

It's good timing too because her phone starts to buzz.

"Benson."

"Liv, I'm just a few minutes away." Barba sounds a little flustered. "This goddamn traffic… I'm sorry."

"Don't even give it a second thought." She reassures him. "Noah just went down. Take your time."

He shows up ten minutes later but it feels like an eternity.

When she hears the sharp rap at her door, she quickly peers into the mirror, checks herself because she has to be perfect. _God, I am such a girl_. _What am I going to do next? Powder my damn nose? Pull it together, Olivia._

Ignoring the fluttering in her stomach, she opens the door, having put on her coat. It's chilly out and her apartment has a bit of a draft.

_Holy Christ._

Rafael's not in his usual courtroom attire. Wearing a black blazer, he's wearing a black dress shirt, top buttons undone, with a black t-shirt underneath. Instead of his normal pinstripe pants, he's wearing black slacks, loose in the legs. No tie. _Holy God_.

And the look in his eyes takes her breath away. His initial glance at her doesn't last a long time but it's appreciative and lingering.

"Sorry I'm late, like I told you, traffic was hell." He sweeps in and while he pulls her in for a brief hug, he slips a small gift into her hands.

"Thank you." Olivia smiles, "You really didn't have to do this." She puts it aside on the counter and gives him a warm hug. "It's good to see you, Rafael."

"And you as well, Liv." He smiles back at her warmly. Backing up, he takes another moment to look at her. "You're beautiful."

She blushes. While she appreciates Barba's directness, sometimes it throws her and she's never been totally comfortable with compliments.

"Thank you." She manages. "For the gift too."

"Open it." Barba smiles slightly, just a quirk of the lips that she finds absurdly endearing. "They're holding our reservation."

Her fingers tremble slightly as she opens the gift. "Oh, Rafael…" It's a gold bracelet, very simple, with a single coin charm. On the front of the coin is one word: _valiente. _On the back of the coin is a flower.

"The word means fearless." He says quietly even though he's aware she knows enough Spanish to hazard its meaning. "The flower is the Cuban state flower, the butterfly Jasmine…which symbolizes purity, rebelliousness, and independence."

"You think I'm rebellious?" Liv has to smile a little.

He tilts his head and smirks back as if to say, _you're __not_? She laughs. "Point taken, counselor."

"You fight for the victims which sometimes means rebelling against the status quo." Barba explains. "It fits you."

"I've not been pure for a long time." She says quietly, a flicker of sadness crossing her face. Perhaps she's thinking of Lewis. Of what he put her through.

Barba steps forward and takes her hand. "That's bullshit, Olivia. You're pure courage, pure passion, pure strength."

He didn't add the _to me _but he doesn't have to. She gets the message.

Tears are in her eyes and she wants to thank him. But the things she wants to say to Barba don't seem to be enough. How does he always manage to disarm her like this?

"If you keep staring at that, we _will _be late." He smiles, to take any edge off his words. "Here, let me help you put that on."

Barba's fingers are warm against her skin and they linger a little as he fastens the clasp.

Their eyes meet, lock, and both of them smile.

This might be a good night, after all.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Characters (except Miguel) are Dick's and NBC's. Story mine.

Author's note: _So, yeah, Padre Sandunguero gave us some clues to Barba's past. And so did December Solstice. So, consider 'Merry Christmas, Mr. Barba' completely AU in terms of back story. And I'll be utilizing Padre and December Solstice from here on out in terms of understanding Barba's family. _

_What can I say? When the seas change, sometimes you have to adjust your sails._

Warning: PURE fluff ahead.

Chapter 3

"So where are we going, counselor?" Benson asks lightly, to hide the little bit of nerves she's feeling. She's still not sure what _this _is and the uncertainty is making her a little antsy. The gift seems to indicate that this is definitely a _date _date and she's not sure how she feels about that.

It'd be her first since Brian and that still hurts.

_**Love you, Brian. Always will.**_

_What do you want this to be, Olivia_? The question's been hovering around her mind the whole day. Actually, ever since that Christmas. When she kissed him and he kissed her back. And it had been as beautiful as the soft white snow falling down on New York streets and the clear starlit skies of Christmas night.

It'd been as close to a perfect Christmas as she had had in years. Unexpectedly so. Barba had been the last person she would have ever thought to be attracted to because, frankly, there were times when he drove her absolutely crazy. But if she was truly honest with herself, she thinks, was it Barba was she frustrated at or the justice system they were both sworn to uphold?

Because reality was a bitch and justice can be a cold bedfellow at night.

Lost in her thoughts, she doesn't notice that they've stopped. "A penny for your thoughts?" Rafael looked amused. "Oh, trust me, they're not worth a penny." She jokes.

"I doubt that, Liv." But he lets it go.

"I'll meet you in there," he says, "need to find some parking."

Liv nods and then walks into the unassuming restaurant/club. She's never been there before, even though Barba has.

And how on earth has she missed this? It's a beautiful spot, even though the outside is nothing special. The decor is subdued and elegant but with a hint of the tropics. They've placed some palm trees in discrete places near some of the tables. The artwork is colorful yet subdued. She takes a moment to soak it all in, the scent of coconut and the tropical skies at night, the strumming of guitar in the background. She's not sure how they do it but the very atmosphere feels less of a restaurant/club and more of a night on the beach, or the comfort of a home-cooked meal in a warm kitchen.

Liv feels instantly at home.

It's strange to her but familiar.

"So sorry, Liv." Rafael rushes in. "It took me some time to find parking. New York City, eh? Bastards. You'd think they could at least provide decent parking while bleeding us dry."

"Tell me about it." She grimaces. "Bane of my existence."

"Señor Rafi!" An elderly gentleman tanned from days spent in a non-New York sun runs up to greet him.

"Miguel!" Rafael grips the man's arms with a beaming smile Olivia has never seen on him before. It takes years off his face and she can see glimpses of that boy of _el barrio_ long since hidden. "How are you, my friend? It's been too long."

"Yes, it has." Miguel gives Rafael a reproving look. "What's kept you away, _hijo_?"

"Work's been keeping me running." He shrugs. "You know how it is. _He estado muy ocupado_."

"Excuses, excuses, Rafael Barba. You know better." Miguel clucks his tongue admonishingly. He looks over at Olivia, who, by this time, is feeling slightly uncomfortable and awkward. "Who is this lovely lady?"

"My apologies, Miguel, I should have introduced you right away. This is my colleague and my…friend, Sergeant Olivia Benson of the NYPD." Rafael's eyes soften as he looks at her. Miguel notices, although Rafael doesn't see that he does. A smile creeps across the face of the elderly proprietor. _Ah, so that's the way of it. Well, it's time that Rafì settles down - he's a good boy, his mama would be proud_.

Olivia gives Miguel a strong shake. "Nice to meet you." She says. "Have you and Rafael known each other long?"

Miguel chuckles. "Oh, yes, I've known Rafì since he was a boy running around the South Bronx."

"_Rafì, _is it?" Olivia chuckles faintly. She looks over at him with a tiny smirk, noting the faint flush on his face.

"Ah, there are many stories I could tell you about this boy." Miguel winks at her. Benson's now thoroughly amused especially since Barba's flush is getting deeper. Taking pity on his discomfort, she smiles mischievously at Miguel. "Perhaps later. But I'd be very interested in hearing some of these stories."

"Miguel, my usual table?" Rafael's finally managed to find his voice.

"Of course, Señor Rafael." Miguel bows smoothly and escorts them to a small table in the corner. It's relatively secluded and there are palm plants that give it an extra air of seclusion.

"You two have really known each other that long?" Olivia asks.

"Ah, yes. We go back a long, long time. He was a good friend of my _abuelita_." Rafael takes a sip of the water the server has just brought to his place, a look of sadness in his eyes.

Oh, how he misses her.

Liv notices but kindly says nothing. It's not the time.

"When did this place open? I've never even known it was here."

"It's been here thirty years, Liv." He smiles.

"I've lived in this city my whole life and every day I find something new. I don't think I could ever run out of things to discover about New York." She says fondly.

"It's a beautiful city, none like it, that's for sure. I could never live anywhere else."

"Really? You've never wanted to move away from all the hustle and bustle and grit and crime?" Liv asks curiously.

"Not really. I thrive on the busyness of the city. Keeps me from thinking too much." He flashes her a tight smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

_Do not trespass._

The waiter brings over the menus and she flips hers open. He doesn't bother, he knows what he wants. Rafael Barba's a creature of habit, he sticks with things he likes. He's not one for too much change in his personal routine; he gets enough chaos with his case work.

"One _caipirinha_, por favor." He says smoothly.

Liv raises an eyebrow. "What? No scotch?"

"Oh, no, not here," Rafael smiles, "Miguel hand makes these drinks. He'd be most offended if I didn't have one."

"I'll have one too. What flavor do you recommend?"

"Pomegranate, I think. It's not too sweet."

"I still can't believe I've never found this place." Liv looks around. "It's beautiful."

"Miguel's done a good job with it." Rafael relaxes in his chair, smiling. "It's his pride and joy."

"He clearly loves you." Liv smiles.

"Ah, well, no accounting for taste." He brushes it off, uncomfortably.

"So what types of stories would I hear if I was to talk to him?" She teases him.

"Oh, for the love of God, don't do that." He groans but with a semi-smile, the chances of her not talking to Miguel are slim to none.

"Are there some skeletons I need to worry about?" Liv grins.

He runs a finger along his collar and Liv watches with interest as his neck turns a bright red.

"Ah, here are our drinks." He says quickly. But he sees the twinkle in her eye and knows her interest is perked.

Surprisingly, though, she doesn't say anything else. Liv sees that he is clearly uncomfortable with too much personal discussion. At least right now. And that's something she understands. So she lets it go.

She's learned her lesson about not pushing too hard.

And he's grateful.

But there is something she wants to know.

"So, Rafael, " Liv leans forward, now serious. "What is _this_?"

"What do you mean _this_?" Barba asks, with a slight smirk. "_This_ is called dinner, Olivia."

"Don't pull that dodging the tough question stuff with me, Rafael. You should know better."

"Wait a minute, " Barba pretends to think, "is this dinner or an interrogation?"

Benson lets him have his fun at her expense and simply rolls her eyes. He's dodging and she knows it. But why he's dodging, she's not sure. Maybe he wants to keep it light. They're both so buried in darkness most of the time that sometimes they just need to come out and stare at the moonlight. To remind themselves that the darkness isn't endless and that behind the veil of night are the lights of countless stars.

Lightness is good. It almost makes you forget about the night. So she'll let it go. There'll be time enough to talk about those things.

Liv takes a minute and sips on her caipirinha. Barba was right, the pomegranate _is _good. Not too fruity because, god, she hates those sickly sweet alcoholic concoctions that practically give you tooth decay when you drink them. But this tastes of freedom, of happy memories, and the bright shine of stars shining defiantly in the black sky.

And the wind blowing through the long grass on beach dunes. Sometimes she still imagines herself running through them.

"I told you." The look on her face must have shown her delight because he's smiling a little.

"This is beyond delicious." Liv tells him. She's fumbling for words because sometimes when you experience something really good and fine, you just can't find words eloquent enough to contain the experience. Language can be so limited.

"He is a craftsman." Rafael agrees. "I'm glad you like it."

"I do." Liv says softly and looks at him. "I like it very much."

She's not just talking about the drink anymore.

And he smiles.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"So tell me more about Miguel, " Liv says, interest in her eyes. "You've never really talked much about your childhood."

"For good reason," Barba's face is serious, "there are many things about it I'd like to forget. I'm sure you understand that."

"Oh, yes," she nods, a flicker of sadness in her eyes, "handling my mother and her issues was… difficult. I didn't have a lot of time to enjoy being young."

"It's unfortunate that so many young ones are forced to grow old before their time." Rafael takes a sip from his drink. "I think that's one of the hardest things that I've seen since I've started working with the Manhattan SVU. All the old faces on the children…."

"I can tell you right now that it never gets easier." Liv says quietly. "Those are the ones who get me the most. The children. It makes me all the more determined to give Noah as carefree and as loving a life as possible."

"Motherhood looks well on you, Liv." Barba smiles. "No one wears it better."

She quirks an eyebrow at him and laughs. "Flattery will get you everywhere, Rafael Barba."

"To tell you the truth, though," she says, "it's been quite the challenge. A constant balancing act. Being in charge of the squad? As I've said before, it's as if I have a bunch of little kids, all needing as much attention. Now that I'm on the other side of that desk I know exactly what Don was referring to. And then there's the actual child at home. It can all be so exhausting."

"And yet you're happy." It's not a question.

"I couldn't be happier." She smiles at him. "I never imagined my life ever turning out this way. I always thought that my life was going to simply consist of people leaving. I was getting used to it and now…well…sometimes life surprises you."

"Sometimes it does." He agrees with a smile. "But you asked about Miguel… he had been a friend of my _abuelita_. They had known each other for years. Miguel's wife and _abuelita _were good friends. When I would visit her, occasionally he would be there and he'd tell me jokes and give me Cuban sweets. Everything a little boy would love." He smiles with the memory.

"He seems like a wonderful man." Liv observes.

"He is. More of a father to me than my own was." Barba takes a deep gulp of his drink.

"I'm sorry if I raised some painful memories." Liv says softly and reaches across the table to take his hand.

"Here's to old ghosts." He gives her a faint smile and raises his glass. "May they stay in their graves where they belong."

"I'll toast to that." She smiles and gives his hand a soft squeeze.

"Now, to lighter things…" Liv changes the subject before the darkness can intrude. Again. "…what is good here?"

"Everything." Barba's smirk is back.

"Well, that's really…helpful." Liv mock frowns.

"I'd actually recommend _ropa vieja_," Rafael suggests. "It's a traditional Cuban dish. Miguel's is to die for. And I'm not kidding. No one does it better."

"I'll take your word for it."

Rafael motions the waiter over. "_Dos de la rope vieja_, _por favor y gracias."_

Nodding, the waiter takes his over and slips silently away.

"That song…" Benson cocks her head, listening to the music. "…it's beautiful."

"One of my favorites. I've always enjoyed Cole Porter."

He looks like he's going to say something else but he hesitates.

"Rafael, out with it." Liv teases him.

"Care to dance?" He asks, an inquiring look on his face.

_God, she's going to say no…and then I'm going to feel like a complete fool. Why am I even asking her again?_

"What have I got to lose?." Liv agrees, much to Barba's surprise. "Just my dignity. Gotta warn you, Rafael, I have two left feet. You sure you want to do this?"

"Come on, Olivia." Barba raises one eyebrow. "Have you ever known me to back down from a challenge?"

"So now I'm a challenge?" She laughs.

"You said it. Not me." He shrugs, a twinkle in his eye.

He reaches out his hand. "Come. Let's dance."

"You're bossy, Rafael."

"Would you want me any other way?"

…

He leads her on the floor like he's been doing this his whole life. And maybe he has. There's still so little she knows about him. So many parts of him that he keeps hidden.

He pulls her into him as they get out on the small dance floor. There are some other couples out there but the lighting is dim so she feels less uncomfortable. There's no spotlight.

She can stay hidden. And that's okay with her.

Taking a deep breath, she inhales the warmth of his scent. That unique blend of the smells of a tropical night, of comfort, of home, of stars. It comforts her.

_When we begin the beguine…._

His hand is gentle against her back, he doesn't hold her too tight.

And following his lead is natural, the dance is slightly complicated but he makes it easy for her. As he has with so many other things. She feels a little awkward, dancing doesn't come natural for her - none of this comes

"This is nice." She says, smiling against his neck.

"It is." He leans his head back to look her in the eyes. "I apologize, I'm a little out of practice."

"You seem okay to me." Liv says quietly.

"I took dance lessons on the side while studying law. It was a good release. But it's been a long time." His eyes cloud over with memories.

"Thank you for bringing me here." She says, trying to make conversation because she's not used to so much silence on a date and she still feels a little awkward. Because dancing isn't totally natural for her and what do you say when you're in each other's arms?

_God, I wish there was a how-to manual for this._

"I'm glad I could." He smiles slightly, a rare softness in his eyes.

_My God, he smells so good. And why am I so nervous all of a sudden?_

"I'm sorry I'm such a bad date." She says quickly. "I just…I'm not really used to this, it's been a long time, you know?" And she starts talking about the little things about her day, how Noah had started crawling and she wasn't sure how she was going to keep him out of things because he's been getting into so many things even though she's put as many things as she can out of his reach. She's totally babbling now and, my god, she's so embarrassed but she and Barba have been friends for so long and now they're standing on this precipice and she's not sure where she wants to go.

It's all a little scary.

_God_, she thinks, s_ometimes it really is easier dealing with perps. At least that's something that I know. Is it sad to admit that my comfort zone is dealing with criminals?_

_I really do need more of a life._

_Away from the darkness._

Barba pulls her a little bit closer and the fluttering in her stomach grows.

_Is he going to kiss me?_

"Liv?"

"Yes?"

"Stop talking." And he pulls her tight to him but not before she sees the slight smile on his face.

And she laughs.

Maybe this isn't so scary after all.


End file.
